oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
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