Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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