everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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