i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
