My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
