Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
