My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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