You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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