Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
