I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Randomize
