i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
