At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
