Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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