she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
