I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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