The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
