I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
