even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize