apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
