Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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