Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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