When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
