the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
