I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
