2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
