Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize