He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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