So drunk its hurt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
