All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
