Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
