a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
