when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
