Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
