Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
