they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
