in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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