don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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