I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
