So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
