i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
