I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
