Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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