They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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