So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
