Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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