all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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