I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
