VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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