Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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