If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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