She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This is my gift to your gina
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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