So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
