Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
