i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
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Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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