Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
