im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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