I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
