it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
